The Marauders and The Prisoner of Azkaban
by gobalbucs
Summary: Remus finds a book called Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban in his private library. Excited and curious, he and his long-time lover, Sirius, bring the book over to James and Lily's. Unable to help themselves, they dive headfirst into the story, but will they be able to handle all of the horrors and truths that lie within? Features RL/SB, JP/LP and baby Harry.


**A/N: Hi everyone, I've returned (finally).**

**This story was originally posted a couple years back but was deleted quite some months ago. I had never managed to finish this story before its untimely demise, but as you can see, I'm raising it back from the dead :P**

**If any of you guys recognize this story (I know it's been awhile, so it's possible that my old readers aren't on this site anymore and if that's the case, I miss you all dearly), yes, it IS that story from way back when. I'm planning on reviving it, but only if you want me to.**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Warnings: Possible OOC-ness, heavy-duty slash, excessive amounts of fluff.**

**I hope you guys enjoy.**

* * *

Owl Post

It was an early Saturday morning and Sirius Black was content to sleep the day away in the large bed with pristine white sheets that he shared with his long term lover, Remus Lupin. The morning sun streamed through the open windows and splayed out over his adorably lazy form. One of his legs was hanging off the bed, the other tangled within the sheets, half his body was spread out over three pillows, and his arms were cushioned under his head. How he could sleep like this, Remus could never fathom.

Speaking of Remus, he was currently running up the stairs from his personal library and up to his shared bedroom. He burst through the door in a flurry of motion and catapulted himself off the floor and onto Sirius in the bed. Sirius abruptly awoke with a startled yelp and all of the air forced out of his lungs when his werewolf boyfriend landed hard on his chest and stomach.

"Ooof! Remus! What are you doing?" He gasped out. He then turned to look at his crazy lover and noticed he had a strange glint in his eyes, a mixture between curiosity and excitement.

"Look at what I found in the library," he answered, holding a book up to Sirius' face, who narrowed his eyes at it before shoving his face back into his pillow.

"I dun care 'bout books, Remmy, I jush wan' to shleeeep."

Remus chuckled at his boyfriend's immaturity before maneuvering Sirius' head with his palm and reaching down to kiss him deeply, his tongue licking at his bottom lip. Sirius groaned before opening his mouth up to the werewolf, who gladly accepted the invitation.

After a couple minutes of heavy duty snogging, Remus pulled away, (causing Sirius to whimper in loss) and thrusting the book back into his disheveled lover's face. "Just take a look; I promise you won't regret it."

Sirius scowled at the book. How dare it, a book, of all things, be the subject of conversation when he could be busy snogging his gorgeous werewolf. Life just wasn't fair.

Taking the book into his hands, he stared down at the cover, eyes widening in confusion. "What? _Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban_? Isn't that Prongs' kid?"

"Yeah, weird right?"

"Well… should we tell James and Lily about this?"

"I think we should, I mean, what if it predicts the future or something? The boy on the cover is obviously Harry and also obviously looks much older than he is right now."

Sirius nodded before yawning loudly. "Well, we can take it over later. Aren't we expected for dinner there anyway?"

Remus nodded. "I think we should read it. Who knows what we'll find."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "I have to admit, the lure is pretty tempting… sure, why not? If Harry turns out to be a complete arse, I can always rub it in Prongs' face."

Remus laughed. "Sure, at least until Lily decides to come to his rescue."

"Yeah, but if Harry doesn't turn out right, I have a feeling she'll be more on my side." Sirius face broke out into a wide grin at the thought, causing the amber eyed man to smile along.

"C'mon baby, in the meantime, let's have lunch— you already slept through breakfast."

Six hours later found Sirius and Remus in the living room at James and Lily's house in Godric's Hollow. They had a lovely dinner of roast beef and mashed potatoes with gravy, and dessert of the chocolate cake variety, much to Remus' delight.

Early evening rolled around and found James and Sirius playing with a bubbling one year old Harry, and Remus and Lily discussing something seemingly very important. That seemingly important thing turned out to be the book that Remus had found, and an hour later, the three men and Lily were sitting around in sort of an oval shape with Remus clutching the book in his hands. Sirius and Remus were sitting on the smaller couch compared to James and Lily sitting opposite them on the bigger couch, baby Harry gurgling with happiness on his mother's lap.

James looked skeptically at the hardback. "I don't know… what if we don't like what's inside? What if it's misleading?"

Sirius gave James a surprised look. "Since when were you the voice of reason? That's my Moony Baby's job."

Remus made a derisive noise before looking at James. "I'm sure Harry turned out just fine, Prongs." He then turned to Lily. "We don't have to read it, you know."

Lily bit her lip, staring at the novel as if it were about to spontaneously combust. Then she stared down at Harry, who in turn, stared up at her and gave her a look that said: _Go on! It's all about me, after all!_

She laughed inwardly. Yes, _definitely _James' son. "It's okay, Remus. To be honest, I'm actually kind of excited. You can never have a boring experience at Hogwarts, and maybe we'll learn some things that we can use to our advantage."

James and Sirius smiled proudly at Lily while Remus thumbed to the first page of the first chapter. "You ready?"

The other three nodded swiftly, James smiling and throwing an arm around an equally ecstatic red head, and Sirius curling up in Remus' lap.

**Chapter 1: Owl Post**

**Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways.**

The adults chuckled.

"Of course he's unusual— he's the spawn of Prongs and Lily!" Sirius joked, earning him the death glares of said heterosexual couple and a bemused snicker from his lover.

**For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of the year.**

"Understandable," James pointed out.

"Yeah, Hogwarts is so amazing," Lily agreed nostalgically. "I remember feeling dejected every year when summer rolled around."

**For another, he really wanted to do his homework**

"WHAT!" Sirius yelled so loud, it startled Remus enough to drop the book. Ignoring the glare he received from his annoyed lover, he complained, "Nooo! He's too much like your wife, Prongs!"

James seemed equally distressed, judging by the way he was crying hysterically into Lily's shoulder.

After finally managing to calm down their lovers (with Lily threatening to withhold sex and Remus to withhold "playtime" if they didn't shut up this instant), Remus resumed reading.

**but was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of night. And he also happened to be a wizard.**

"Why does he have to do it in secret?" Sirius asked.

Remus rolled his amber eyes. "Because he probably knows that you will react the exact same way you just did twenty seconds ago if he didn't."

Lily snickered while James and Sirius scowled at him. Remus just rolled his eyes again and reached a hand down to ruffle Sirius' hair.

**It was nearly midnight, and he was lying on his stomach in bed, the blankets drawn right over his head like a tent, a flashlight in one hand and a large leather-bound book (**_**A History of Magic**_** by Bathilda Bagshot) propped open against the pillow. Harry moved the tip of his eagle-feather quill down the page, frowning as he looked for something that would help him write his essay. "Witch Burning in the Fourteenth Century Was Completely Pointless – discuss."**

"I remember that assignment," said Sirius. "Got it done in like, ten minutes."

"That's because you copied off of me," Remus pointed out.

"Oh yeah."

**The quill paused at the top of a likely-looking paragraph. Harry pushed his round glasses up the bridge of his nose, moved his flashlight closer to the book, and read:**

_**Non-magic people (more commonly known as Muggles) were particularly afraid of magic in Medieval times, but not very good at recognizing it. **_("Can you skip this part, Moony? We're reading for fun, not to learn." "No, Padfoot." Sirius sighed.) _**On the rare occasion that they did catch a real witch or wizard, burning had no effect whatsoever. The witch or wizard would perform a basic Flame Freezing Charm and then pretend to shriek with pain while enjoying a gentle, tickling sensation. Indeed, Wendelin the Weird enjoyed being burned so much that she allowed herself to be caught no less than forty-seven times in various disguises.**_

**Harry put his quill between his teeth and reached underneath his pillow for his ink bottle and a roll of parchment. Slowly and very carefully he unscrewed the ink bottle, dipped his quill into it, and began to write, pausing every now and then to listen, because if the Dursleys heard the scratching of his quill on their way to the bathroom, he'd probably find himself locked up in the cupboard under the stairs for the rest of the summer.**

There was a long, tense silence. Finally the adults burst into loud, disbelieving shouting.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Sirius and Remus screamed.

"WHAT DOES HE MEAN THAT THEY WOULD LOCK HIM UP IN THE CUPBOARD UNDERNEATH THE STAIRS?" Lily shrieked. She was positively horrified that her own sister would do such a thing to her son. She knew that Petunia resented them all, but really! This was an absolute outrage to say the least.

"WHY IS HE EVEN AT THE DURSLEYS IN THE FIRST PLACE?" James inquired, angrily confused and near hysterics. He refused to believe that his son would step even a foot in that house. No offense to his beautiful Lily-Flower, but he absolutely hated her sister, Petunia and her good for nothing, pork of a husband, Vernon. It was clear to the adults that Petunia and Vernon hated anything to do with magic, so why was Harry over there, doing Hogwarts homework, in one of their beds?

"I can't believe they would lock him a fucking cupboard!" Sirius roared, his protective instincts flaring up.

"Why is he over there?" Lily muttered. "There's absolutely nothing that he could have done to deserve that! What were we thinking?"

James squeezed Lily and ruffled his son's hair. "Remus, keep reading." It was obvious that James was trying very hard to keep his temper in check, struggling to recover from his previous outburst.

**The Dursley family of number four, Privet Drive, was the reason that Harry never enjoyed his summer holidays. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and their son, Dudley, were Harry's only living relatives.**

Everyone sucked in their breath and another long silence was spent between them.

They were too shocked for words. Once Remus found his voice again, he continued to read, though his words were shaky and barely audible.

**They were Muggles, and they had a very medieval attitude toward magic. Harry's dead parents**

This drew another swift silence from Remus and painted looks of horror on everyone's face, the fact had been confirmed that yes, James and Lily had passed.

"But…" Sirius broke the silence. "How could this be? How can you be dead?"

James looked like he was going to be sick and Lily was on the verge of tears. They all looked down at their innocent little Harry, their soon-to-be _orphaned_ Harry. The fact that James and Lily were going to die sat heavy in their guts.

They all needed some time to think, so James and Lily took Harry and moved quietly into the kitchen while Remus and Sirius sat together on the couch. Sirius had completely curled in on himself with his arms wrapped tightly around his beloved's waist and Remus was running a slender hand softly through his lover's silky black tresses. His other hand was rubbing slowly and tenderly up and down Sirius' back.

Fifteen minutes of alone time later, and the dead couple walking plus their son reentered the living room and reseated themselves on their couch. James weakly motioned for Remus to continue reading. The werewolf gave him a look that asked him if he was sure, and James nodded, a determined look in his eyes.

Lily hastily rubbed her eyes and Sirius cast a sorrowful look at Harry, before Remus picked up the book and turned to where they had left off.

**Harry's dead parents**

Everyone shuddered. There was no way in Hell that they would get used to the fact that James and Lily were dead and left Harry to the mercy of the Dursleys… wait a minute...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" James cut in before Remus could continue. "Why is Harry with the Dursleys? Why isn't he with you and Sirius, Remus?"

Lily looked just as concerned. "I agree. Something must have happened to you two as well… oh Merlin…" Lily loved her boys and the fact that she might lose James was hard enough, but she was going to lose Sirius and Remus as well? What other reason could there be if Harry wasn't with his Godfather?

Sirius looked up through his fringe at Remus. "Do you think we all died in the war?"

"I don't see any other explanation," said Remus, sadly.

**Harry's dead parents, who had been a witch and wizard themselves, were never mentioned under the Dursleys' roof. **

"Why am I not surprised?" Sirius ground out angrily. "Does he even know _why_ we're all dead?"

**For years, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had hoped that if they kept Harry as downtrodden as possible, they would be able to squash the magic out of him.**

This elicited snarls from everyone in the room.

**To their fury, they had been unsuccessful.**

"Ha!" James and Sirius yelled. "Eat that, Dursleys!"

Lily and Remus smiled slightly and rolled their eyes affectionately.

**These days they lived in terror of anyone finding out that Harry had spent most of the last two years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The most they could do, however, was to lock away Harry's spellbooks, wand, cauldron, and broomstick at the start of summer break, and forbid him to talk to the neighbors.**

"How could they?" Lily shouted, startling her husband. "How could they just simply isolate him like that?"

"This is awful," Remus full heartedly agreed.

**This separation from his spellbooks had been a real problem for Harry, because his teachers at Hogwarts had given him a lot of holiday work. One of the essays, a particularly nasty one about shrinking potions, was for Harry's least favorite teacher, Professor Snape, who would be delighted to have an excuse to give Harry detention for a month.**

"Professor _Snape_?" Sirius repeated incredulously. "_Severus_ Snape? _SNIVELLUS_?"

"Snivellus replaced Ol' Sluggy as Potions Master?" James asked, just as disbelieving as Sirius.

"Well that's just great!" Sirius yelled, sarcastically. "Snivelly probably just _loves_ to torture Harry just 'cause he's your son, Prongs."

Lily looked distraught since Sirius was most likely correct, judging from what the book had said. How could her old friend do this?

**Harry had therefore seized his chance in the first week of the holidays. While Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley had gone out into the front garden to admire Uncle Vernon's new company car (in very loud voices, so that the rest of the street would notice it too), **

James snorted. "Conceited pigs."

**Harry had crept downstairs, picked the lock on the cupboard under the stairs, grabbed some of his books, and hidden them in his bedroom. As long as he didn't leave spots of ink on the sheets, the Dursleys need never know that he was studying magic by night.**

"Oh good," Lily breathed a sigh of relief. "Good boy, Harry."

Harry just looked up at her and gurgled happily.

**Harry was particularly keen to avoid trouble with his aunt and uncle at the moment, as they were already in an especially bad mood with him, all because he'd received a telephone call from a fellow wizard one week into the school vacation.**

"I can't believe Petunia!" Lily almost growled. "Or her good for nothing husband!"

The other marauders nodded their agreement.

**Ron Weasley, who was one of Harry's best friends at Hogwarts, came from a whole family of wizards. This meant that he knew a lot of things Harry didn't, but had never used a telephone before. Most unluckily, it had been Uncle Vernon who had answered the call.**

"I'm so glad Harry has good friends," Lily sighed.

"The Weasleys, huh?" Remus looked deep in thought. "A very good family to be in touch with, very hospitable and kind folks, they are."

Sirius rubbed Remus' leg softly in response.

"**Vernon Dursley speaking."**

**Harry, who happened to be in the room at the time, froze as he heard Ron's voice answer.**

"**HELLO? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I—WANT—TO—TALK—TO—HARRY—POTTER!"**

The four adults roared with laughter, they could just image the purpling look on Vernon's face as he heard this.

**Ron was yelling so loudly that Uncle Vernon jumped and held the receiver a foot away from his ear, staring at it with an expression of mingled fury and alarm.**

"**WHO IS THIS?" he roared in the direction of the mouthpiece. "WHO ARE YOU?"**

"**RON—WEASLEY!" Ron bellowed back, as though he and Uncle Vernon were speaking from opposite ends of a football field.**

They started snickering as they realized that that conversation was going nowhere fast.

"I feel really bad for Harry now," Remus pointed out. "I have a feeling he's not going to get away with this."

Lily and James sighed. "No, I don't think he will," Lily agreed, clearly annoyed.

**I'M—A—FRIEND—OF—HARRY'S—FROM—SCHOOL—"**

**Uncle Vernon's small eyes swiveled around to Harry, who was rooted to the spot.**

"Uh oh," said Sirius.

"**THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE!" he roared, now holding the receiver at arm's length, as though frightened it might explode. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY FAMILY!"**

"Wow Vernon, lie down before you hurt yourself," Sirius drawled, eliciting a short laugh from the other three adults.

**He threw the receiver back onto the telephone as if dropping a poisonous spider.**

**The fight that followed had been one of the worst ever.**

"**HOW DARE YOU GIVE THIS NUMBER TO PEOPLE LIKE—PEOPLE LIKE **_**YOU**_**!" Uncle Vernon had roared, spraying Harry with spit.**

"Ew," commented Lily.

"How dare _you_ try to control every damn aspect of his life!" Sirius yelled, eyes shining with just barely concealed rage. Remus had to rub his shoulders frantically in order to calm him down, while Lily cooed to James that steaming over the situation wasn't going to help matters, and was only upsetting Harry, whose bottom lip was beginning to tremble as he sat in his father's equally trembling arms.

Once everyone had settled down, Remus continued.

**Ron obviously realized that he'd gotten Harry into trouble because he hadn't called again. Harry's other best friend from Hogwarts, Hermione Granger, hadn't been in touch either. Harry suspected that Ron had warned Hermione not to call, which was a pity, because Hermione, the cleverest witch in Harry's year, had Muggle parents, knew perfectly well how to use a telephone, and would probably have had enough sense not to say that she went to Hogwarts.**

"Just like our dear Lily-Flower, huh?" Sirius smiled at Lily, who smirked proudly at him back.

**So Harry had no word from any of his wizarding friends for five long weeks, and this summer was turning out to be almost as bad as the last one. **

"Oh, my poor baby," Lily cooed to her oblivious one year old, who was instead more interested in trying to play with the ends of his father's unseemly hair, much to the amusement of Padfoot.

**There was just one small improvement— after swearing that he wouldn't use her to send letters to any of his friends, Harry had been allowed to let his owl, Hedwig, out at night, Uncle Vernon had given in because of the racket Hedwig made if she was locked in her cage all the time.**

**Harry finished writing about Wendelin the Weird and paused to listen again. The silence in the dark house was broken only by the distant, grunting snores of his enormous cousin, Dudley. **_**It must be very late**_**, Harry thought. His eyes were itching with tiredness. Perhaps he'd finish this essay tomorrow night...**

"Yes Harry," Lily agreed, her motherly instincts kicking in. "You need your rest like the growing boy you are."

"And Merlin knows you'll need it because if you're anything like Prongs, you're probably built like a stick," Sirius joked.

James' very adult response was to stick his tongue out at his best friend. Sirius retorted in the same manner and then they both crossed their eyes and turned their attention to Harry, faces still twisted, trying to get a laugh from him.

They succeeded for a couple of seconds before Remus lightly slapped the back of his lover's head with the excuse, "Your face will freeze like that, Pads."

So naturally, the former Black heir saw it fit to turn the same expression onto his boyfriend. In response, Remus slapped his head again. James laughed and Sirius made a rude gesture at him.

**He replaced the top of the ink bottle; pulled an old pillowcase from under his bed; put the flashlight, **_**A History of Magic**_**, his essay, quill, and ink inside it; got out of bed; and hid the lot under a loose floorboard under his bed. Then he stood up, stretched, and checked the time on the luminous alarm clock on his bedside table.**

**It was one o'clock in the morning. Harry's stomach gave a funny jolt. He had been thirteen years old, without realizing it, for a whole hour.**

"Thirteen, huh?" James clarified. "So he'll be in his third year."

"Happy birthday, Harry," Lily praised her small son jokingly.

Harry looked up at Lily and smiled before yelling: "Yay! Huppy Birfphday!"

The marauders and Lily laughed warmly at little Harry's speech impediment. When James finished chuckling, he turned to the two canine marauders. "Hey, weren't you two already going out when you were in third year?"

"That's right!" Sirius confirmed, smiling hugely before sitting up straight on Remus' lap and then leaning in to give the werewolf a slightly chaste kiss on his lips. When Sirius broke away, Remus smiled before leaning in and stealing a kiss for himself.

James chuckled at his best friends' antics and Lily flashed them a warm smile of her own. She was once really worried about them being together— they were only young boys after all, and she already cared so much for Remus. She knew how insecure he was and she was terrified that Sirius would break his heart. However, he never did, as it turned out, and they were still just as happy today as they were almost ten years ago. She trusted that neither of those boys would ever do anything to hurt the other and she was very happy for them.

**Yet another unusual thing about Harry was how little he looked forward to his birthdays. He had never received a birthday card in his life. The Dursleys had completely ignored his last two birthdays, and he had no reason to suppose they would remember this one.**

It was amazing how quickly the atmosphere changed. Everyone was shouting again— they were outraged at how thoroughly Harry was being neglected.

"I swear to Merlin, I would never abandon my son like that!" James yelled. "I oughta march right on over there and give them a piece of my mind!"

"Where am I when you need me?" Sirius despaired. "I would most certainly put those horrid excuses for guardians right!"

"I'm so angry, I can't even see straight! How could Petunia do this?" Lily was near to tears again and James was holding her tight. "James, we cannot ever leave Harry if this is his fate— not that I would ever try to in the first place!"

"We won't this time, Lils. I'll make sure of it." James assured her.

"You must have died when he was pretty young though," Remus, ever the intelligent one, pointed out. "He said he never got a card in his whole life."

James and Lily paled considerably. "Oh Merlin… it must be soon…" Lily whispered. "We could die any year now! Or maybe any month!"

"Or day," Sirius ungratefully pointed out. So, Remus slapped him hard on the side of his head.

"No! It won't happen!" James assured his wife and best friends. "Keep reading, Remus."

**Harry walked across the dark room, past Hedwig's large, empty cage, to the open window. He leaned on the sill, the cool night air pleasant on his face after a long time under the blankets. Hedwig had been absent for two nights now. Harry wasn't worried about her; she'd been gone this long before. But he hoped she'd be back soon— she was the only living creature in this house who didn't flinch at the sight of him.**

"Ohh, my poor baby," Lily sniffled. "Nobody appreciates him. Well, don't worry Harry, _we_ appreciate you; and we love you unconditionally, unlike my sister and her pig husband. Horrid excuses for human beings, they are."

"Here, here," Sirius agreed.

**Harry, though still rather small and skinny for his age,**

"Ha! I was right!" Sirius cheered, earning him a pinch on his arm from Remus.

**had grown a few inches over the last year. His jet-black hair, however, was just as it always had been— stubbornly untidy, whatever he did to it.**

Everyone except for James snickered at this, who knew they were laughing because they must have been thinking that Harry had inherited the stubborn hair from _him_. So, he shot Lily a wounded puppy look. She rectified this by kissing him on the lips and then on the top of said stubborn hair. He smiled cheekily at her before kissing her back. He turned slightly to motion for his werewolf friend to continue.

Only to find that Remus was much too engaged in a snog session with his boyfriend. "Oi! You two! Stop that! Stop that right now! Or I'll castrate the both of you!"

The two canines reluctantly broke apart but settled back down together with Remus lounging against the arm of the couch and Sirius snuggled into the werewolf's lap.

**The eyes behind his glasses were bright green, and on his forehead, clearly visible through his hair, was a thin scar, shaped like a bolt of lightning.**

Lily gasped rather loudly, causing baby Harry to stir a bit from his recently napping state. "Who. Dared. To. Do. That. To. Him?" Her voice was surprisingly controlled for someone who was obviously on the verge of falling into a rage, judging by the redness of her face and the flames almost literally dancing behind her jade eyes.

"Whoever it was, they're gonna pay!" Sirius growled with James nodding vigorously in agreement. How dare anyone hurt his son? No one that was gonna get away with it, that was for sure.

**Of all the unusual things about Harry, this scar was the most extraordinary of all. It was not, as the Dursleys had pretended for ten years, a souvenir of the car crash that had killed Harry's parents, because Lily and James had not died in a car crash. **

Sirius, James, and Lily all held their breath.

**They had been murdered**

Lily whimpered.

**by the most feared Dark wizard for a hundred years, Lord Voldemort.**

Lily just barely let a small sob escape while James pulled her into a tight embrace. Remus looked down forlornly at Sirius, who stared up at him with a look of equal sadness.

"Remus, it must have been the traitor," Sirius explained.

"How could this happen?" James slowly and quietly asked himself. "Who is that damned traitor?"

"But, wait," Remus called their attention. "If James and Lily were killed by Voldemort himself, it means that the traitor would need to have known your exact location in order to hand you two over. Sirius is your secret keeper, isn't he? He's the only one that knows your location." The werewolf explained gravely.

In that instance, three pairs of eyes fell onto Sirius, who stared back at them with a violent mixture of fright, worry, disbelief, anger, and defiance. He immediately shot up onto his feet, anger being the primary emotion swirling in the depths of his silver-blue eyes. "OH, COME ON! YOU GUYS DON'T ACTUALLY THINK THAT I'M THE ONE WHO SOLD YOU TWO OUT, DO YOU?"

When no one said anything, Sirius turned to Remus, who wasn't even looking at him. "Oh Merlin, Remus, please don't tell me you think I'm the one that did it." Remus still didn't look at him and stayed silent. Sirius started trembling with barely pent up rage. "NO! I WILL NOT STAND HERE AND LET YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT I SOLD YOU TWO TO VOLDEMORT!" He began to roll up the sleeves of his black robes. He proceeded to thrust both forearms to his distraught lover. Remus reluctantly looked them over and saw that both were completely bare. There was no Dark Mark marring the pale, unblemished skin.

Remus hesitantly dragged his eyes upward to glance at Sirius' face. The animagus seemed to be waiting for him to say something.

So he did.

"… I… I'm sorry, Sirius. We jumped to the conclusion too quickly. We know in our hearts that you would never do that, but our heads got in the way. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?" He looked up pleadingly at his hurt lover.

James and Lily were also staring at him, both with matching apologetic expressions.

Sirius rolled his sleeves back down and diverted his gaze to each individual in turn, before taking Harry from James' arms and sitting down on the other end of the couch that Remus was on, the furthest spot away from the other adults. "At least you believed I was innocent, didn't you, Harry?"

Harry looked sleepily up at Sirius before smiling a wide smile and shouting: "Yesh, Sirwi!"

Sirius smiled back. "Of course you did. I would never hurt you or any of my friends. I would rather die before I could ever even think of the possibility."

And they believed him. The other marauders and Lily felt so foolish for even thinking that Sirius would have ever done such a thing. How could they have just jumped the wand so quickly like that? It must be the stress of war— making them think crazy thoughts. Remus stared down the length of the couch at his lover, watching him rub noses with his godson and smiling contently, if not a little brokenly. He felt so stupid and guilty. How could he think that of Sirius? He looked back to James and Lily and they all exchanged the same glance: _We need to make it up to him._

Before they could think any more on it, they heard the dog animagus clear his throat. When they looked over at him, they saw he was still playing with Harry but the smile was gone. "Well, aren't you going to finish reading?" He asked in a worryingly monotonous tone, his voice hollow and devoid of any emotion. Remus recognized this state. Sirius' voice would be completely lacking of any and all emotion when something greatly upset him. It was a defense mechanism and once the barrier was put up, it was exceedingly difficult to bring back down. It didn't happen often, but on the rare occasion when it did, Sirius was very cold and unfeeling and went out of his way to avoid everyone, even Remus.

He wasn't the only one to notice this. James and Lily knew Sirius almost as well as the werewolf did and they all exchanged another glance that said: _Fuck, we really messed up this time._

Remus chanced one last look back at Sirius to find that he was silently and emotionlessly playing with Harry's fingers. They really hurt him. Remus wasn't sure if he would ever be able to forgive himself for his lapse in judgment, and there was no way that Sirius was going to be speaking to any of them anytime soon. Frankly, they were lucky that he was still in the same room with them. So, he turned back to the book and relocated their last stop.

**Harry had escaped from the same attack with nothing more than a scar on his forehead, where Voldemort's curse, instead of killing him, had rebounded upon its originator. Barely alive, Voldemort had fled….**

**But Harry had come face-to-face with him at Hogwarts. Remembering their last meeting as he stood at the dark window, Harry had to admit he was lucky even to have reached his thirteenth birthday.**

"Wow," Lily breathed. "That's amazing. How on Earth do you think that happened?"

"I have no idea," said James. "But he is definitely my son— able to take on Voldemort _at least twice_ and manage to come out nearly unscathed and on top— he's a winner, he is!" James had a very arrogant and proud grin on his face as he looked to his one year old son.

**He scanned the starry sky for a sign of Hedwig, perhaps soaring back to him with a dead mouse dangling from her beak, expecting praise. Gazing absently over the rooftops, it was a few seconds before Harry realized what he was seeing.**

**Silhouetted against the golden moon, and growing larger every moment, was a large strangely lopsided creature, and it was flapping lower and lower. For a split second he hesitated, his hand on the window latch, wondering whether to slam it shut. But then the bizarre creature soared over one the street lamps of Privet Drive, and Harry, realizing what it was, leapt aside. **

"What?" James prompted, leaning forward slightly.

**Through the window soared three owls, two of them holding up the third, which appeared to be unconscious. **

"Oh, the poor thing," Lily commented sympathetically.

**They landed with a soft **_**flump**_** on Harry's bed, and the middle owl, which was large and gray, keeled right over and lay motionless. There was a large package tied to its legs.**

"Oh, I hope it isn't dead," Lily commented again, prompting James to give her a reassuring squeeze around her shoulders.

"Well frankly, _I _want to know what's in the package," James added.

"Of course you would, you nosy berk," Remus insulted sarcastically, eliciting a sheepish smile from his messy haired friend.

**Harry recognized the unconscious owl at once— his name was Errol, and he belonged to the Weasley family. **

"Oh good," Lily sighed with relief. "At least his friend didn't give up on communication completely."

"I'll bet it's a birthday present," James pointed out with glee and a slight trace of remorse. If he couldn't ever give his son birthday presents, and if the Dursleys weren't going to give him any, then he would just simply have to resign himself to be pleased that at least his friends weren't so insensitive… or dead.

**Harry dashed to the bed, untied the cords around Errol's legs, took off the parcel, and then carried Errol to Hedwig's cage. Errol opened one bleary eye, gave a feeble hoot of thanks, and began to gulp some water. **

**Harry turned back to the remaining owls. One of them, the large snowy female, was his own Hedwig.**

"Oh, what a beautiful owl, I can just picture her now," Lily sighed dreamily. James grinned and squeezed her again, this time adding a kiss to her temple, eliciting a giggle from the red head.

**She, too, was carrying a parcel and looked extremely pleased with herself.**

James and Remus snorted.

**She gave Harry an affectionate nip with her beak as he removed her burden, then flew across the room to join Errol.**

**Harry didn't recognize the third owl, a handsome tawny one, but he knew at once where it had come from, because in addition to a third package, it was carrying a letter bearing the Hogwarts crest. When Harry relieved this owl of its burden, it ruffled its feathers importantly, stretched its wings, and took off through the window into the night. **

**Harry sat down on his bed and grabbed Errol's package, ripped off the brown paper, and discovered a present wrapped in gold, and his first ever birthday card. **

Cheers erupted from the room from Remus, James and Lily, and even Sirius released a small smile.

"Harry has such caring friends," James sighed happily before looking at Lily, Remus, and Sirius in turn. "Just like me."

"Awww!" Lily and Remus cooed but Sirius stayed eerily silent, not looking at anything except for the wallpaper that adorned the walls to his left. Harry had fallen fast asleep in his Godfather's lap, curled up into a ball, and breathing loudly.

Remus cast another forlorn look at the emotionally-shut-down man before averting his gaze back to the page he was on.

**Fingers trembling slightly, he opened the envelope. Two pieces of paper fell out—a letter and a newspaper clipping.**

**The clipping had clearly come out of the wizarding newspaper, the **_**Daily Prophet**_**, because the people in the black-and-white picture were moving. Harry picked up the clipping, smoothed it out, and read:**

_**MINISTRY OF MAGIC EMPLOYEE SCOOPS GRAND PRIZE**_

_**Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office at the Ministry of Magic, has won the annual **_**Daily Prophet**_** Grand Prize Galleon Draw.**_

_**A delighted Mr. Weasley told the **_**Daily Prophet**_**, "We will be spending the gold on a summer holiday in Egypt, where our eldest son, Bill, works as a curse breaker for Gringotts Wizarding Bank."**_

_**The Weasley family will be spending a month in Egypt, returning for the start of the new school year at Hogwarts, which five of the Weasley children currently attend.**_

"I've always wanted to go to Egypt," Lily commented. "I like the sun and I've always wanted to visit the pyramids."

"We should go one of these days— you, me, Harry, Remus, Sirius, and Peter. All of us should go, once this war is finally over."

Remus smiled. "I think that's a brilliant idea." He cautiously turned to the brooding man on the other end of the couch, still staring at the wallpaper. "What do you think, Padfoot?"

He grunted.

They took that as a "yes".

**Harry scanned the moving photograph, and a grin spread across his face as he saw all nine of the Weasleys waving furiously at him, standing in front of a large pyramid.**

"Whoa, whoa, hold on here," James interrupted, waving his hands in front of his face. "Nine? _NINE?_ _Nine Weasleys_?"

"Wow, big family," Lily commented, though smiling slightly. She wanted a big family of her own. It was already pretty big because she counted all four Marauders as part of her family but she hoped that it would expand again one of these days. Then her face fell when she remembered that she would probably not be around for that to happen.

James, sensing Lily's sudden mood change, pulled her onto his lap and started stroking her fiery tresses. She leaned back into his strong, Quidditch toned chest and closed her eyes.

Remus smiled warmly at the both of them before looking back down at the book.

**Plump little Mrs. Weasley; tall, balding Mr. Weasley; six sons; and one daughter, all (though the black-and-white picture didn't show it) with flaming-red hair.**

"Just like my darling Lily-Flower!" James commented; Lily smiled, her eyes still closed.

"Wow," Remus breathed, astonished. "Six sons and a daughter, eh? Those two are going to be quite busy over the next decade or so."

This earned a hearty laugh from the relaxed couple opposite him, though the one whom he really wanted to make smile continued to sit silently, no emotion betrayed on his face as he continued to stare at the wallpaper. If Remus didn't know that this was normal behavior for Sirius when he entered this state, he would have started to become quite worried.

**Right in the middle of the picture was Ron, tall and gangling, with his pet rat, Scabbers, on his shoulder and his arm around his little sister, Ginny.**

**Harry couldn't think of anyone who deserved to win a large pile of gold than the Weasleys, who were very nice and extremely poor. **

"He's so very kind and polite, our son is," Lily was looking positively radiant and James was beaming with pride.

Remus smiled with equal enthusiasm. "Yes, and despite that you don't play a large role in his life in this book, despite the influence of the Dursleys, he still turned out to be a wonderful, charismatic person." Remus said the last part while staring at Sirius. Sirius had been in that exact same position once upon a time. He had parents who couldn't really give a shit about him and tried to force awful, horrible beliefs into his head. And yet, despite all odds, Sirius still turned out to be the greatest, kindest, sweetest man he'd ever had the extreme pleasure and pride of knowing and loving.

Sirius turned his head finally to look at Remus, who smiled at him. Reluctantly, Sirius released a small, slow smile back. The tawny haired man then opened his arms slightly. Sirius stared at his pleadingly apologetic lover before getting up off the couch and delivering a still-sleeping Harry to Lily, who accepted him graciously and with a warm smile, one which Sirius returned, and shuffled back to the couch, only much closer to his werewolf this time. Remus opened his arms a bit wider and Sirius forcefully shoved himself against Remus, snuggling ferociously into his arms and hugging him tight around his torso.

James laughed, Lily smiled, and Remus managed to get himself situated in order to comfortably hold his beautiful boyfriend while still being able to read. Right before he started up again, Sirius squeezed him and Remus smiled, reaching a hand down to softly ruffle Sirius' dark, silky locks. He ran his hand through them a couple times before finally returning his attention back to the novel.

**He picked up Ron's letter and unfolded it.**

_**Dear Harry,**_

_**Happy birthday!**_

_**Look, I'm really sorry about that telephone call. **_(All four adults sniggered at the memory.) _**I hope the Muggles didn't give you a hard time. I asked Dad, and he reckons I shouldn't have shouted.**_

James and Sirius hooted with laughter and Remus and Lily smiled while rolling their eyes affectionately. They of course, knew instantly that that was major mistake number one right there.

_**It's amazing here in Egypt. Bill's taken us around all the tombs and you wouldn't believe the curses those old Egyptian wizards put on them. Mum wouldn't let Ginny come in the last one. There were all these mutant skeletons in there, of Muggles who'd broken in and grown extra heads and stuff.**_

James and Sirius balked for a second before turning to their lovers and bursting out about how they really desperately wanted to go to Egypt.

"Oh please, please, please, PLEASE!" James begged Lily.

"Mutant skeletons, Moony Baby!" Sirius explained. "WITH EXTRA HEADS! How wicked is that?"

Lily and Remus smiled. They were quite used to being the only adults with these two around. "Very wicked, Padfoot," Remus agreed.

"Maybe when we get the money," Lily offered.

"I've got money!" Sirius pointed out rather loudly, nearly shattering his lover's eardrums. Well, at least he was happy and speaking to them again. Remus would put up with just about everything just to see that his gorgeous lover was happy. "My inheritance! We should go when Harry's old enough to remember the trip, of course."

James laughed. "We would be waiting a while then, especially if we want Harry to see those skeletons too."

"Good point," Sirius agreed.

Remus chuckled and started smoothing down Sirius' hair, who leaned into his touch and made a satisfied noise that seemed to be akin to a cat's purr.

Just before Remus started reading again, Sirius piped up, "I wonder if we'd see any skeletons with other extra stuff, like extra genitals…"

Remus' eyes bugged slightly as he stared down at Sirius, who seemed to be deep in thought about it.

Sometimes, the werewolf was really concerned about his boyfriend's sanity.

James on the other hand, thought that was the most hilarious thing he'd heard all evening, and began to cackle at the top of his lungs. Lily on the other hand, shook her head at both the animagi. Sometimes, the states of mind of her husband and his best friend worried her from time to time as well.

"Sirius," Remus called. When Sirius looked up at him, the werewolf continued, "What are you thinking? Wait, do I even want to know?"

Sirius let a devilish grin crawl across his lips. "No, probably not, but I'll say it anyway."

"Crap," James cursed and Lily slapped him on the side of his head.

"Not with Harry in the room, James!" she reprimanded him and the stag animagus hung his head slightly.

"I was imagining you with extra genitals; imagining you with two cocks up my—"

Remus roughly pushed Sirius off the couch, his face flushing a very deep red. James' face on the other hand, seemed to turn a lovely shade of forest green. Lily shook her head as Sirius collapsed onto the carpet, laughing his ass off.

"I don't think that's even biologically possible, Sirius," Remus explained, face positively radiating heat. "And _no_, we are most certainly _not_ going to find out if it is," he added when Sirius opened his mouth, causing the dog animagus to close it again with a pout. James' dark green tinged face turned an even darker shade and Lily simply decided to mentally erase that last conversation from her memory forever.

"_Anyway_," Remus continued as Sirius climbed back up onto the couch and resumed their previous snuggling positions.

_**I couldn't believe it when Dad won the **_**Daily Prophet**_** Draw. Seven hundred galleons! **_

"Wow."

"Impressive."

"Indeed."

"Psh, I got _way_ more than that in just two feet of space in my vault." Remus hit him upside the head. "Oww…"

_**Most of it's gone on this trip, but they're going to buy me a new wand for next year.**_

**Harry remembered only too well the occasion when Ron's old wand had snapped. It had happened when the car the two of them had been flying to Hogwarts had crashed into a tree on the school grounds. **

There was a short silence that was followed almost immediately by a loud bout of laughter emanating from James and Sirius and a continued shocked silence from the werewolf and the red head.

"Omigod! I take it back, James! Harry is _definitely_ your kid!" Sirius was doubled over in his lover's lap with laughter, tears of mirth running down his cheeks.

"An enchanted car! Brilliant! And here I thought your motorcycle was bad enough!" James was laughing so hard he was beginning to have difficulty in breathing.

Finally, Lily and Remus broke their silence.

"Ohhh, why _me_?" Lily moaned. "Why did it have to be _me_? Why can't I have a _normal_ husband, who would pass on _normal_ genes, to a _normal_ son?" She buried her face in her hands and was shaking her head.

"A _flying car_? Honestly, that kid will get himself seriously hurt or dead one of these days. But then I suppose that's just Marauders' luck for you." Remus was shaking his own head.

"Yup!" Sirius agreed, clapping Moony on the shoulder. "He's the son of a Marauder, Moony Baby— of course he's going to get into all kinds of whacky shenanigans."

"And it's logic like that, that, no matter how farfetched it seems, is actually truer than anything else on this planet, makes me so glad that it is biologically impossible for us to have kids, Pads."

Sirius guffawed. "Oh Merlin, YES! Can you even imagine the kind of trouble those kids would get into if we somehow _were_ able to procreate and actually went through with it?"

"I would rather not, Pads; it would be too dangerous for my mind alone to contemplate."

All the adults burst out laughing at that.

"Oh god, those kids would be a right nightmare, that's for sure," James agreed. "Though any kids belonging to Padfoot alone would be too much to handle."

"Very true," Lily nodded. "Suicide would most likely be a very charming second option if it ever came to having to look after them for even _one day_."

James laughed outright at the indignant face of his partner in crime.

"Humph! You're just jealous that my kids would have a way better idea of fun than yours!"

"Merlin, I shudder at the thought," Remus joked before drawing his lover into a tight hug that left Sirius pleasantly breathless.

"Okay, okay, let's just finish the chapter before we start anything, guys," Lily pleaded, seeing Sirius' eyes darken slightly with lust.

"Right," Remus agreed, pulling Sirius down so he could re-nestle into his arms like before.

_**We'll be back about a week before term starts and we'll be going up to London to get my wand and our new books. Any chance of meeting you there?**_

_**Don't let the Muggles get you down!**_

_**Try and come to London,**_

_**-Ron.**_

_**P.S. Percy's Head Boy. He got the letter last week.**_

**Harry glanced back at the photograph. Percy, who was in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts, was looking particularly smug.**

Sirius and James snorted indignantly. Despite the facts that James himself was Head Boy in his seventh year and that they had both went out with Remus and Lily when they were Prefects, they resented most authority figures with a passion, as they usually seemed to be very adverse to their idea of "fun".

**He had pinned his Head Boy badge to the fez perched jauntily on top of his neat hair, his horn-rimmed glasses flashing in the Egyptian sun.**

**Harry now turned to his present and unwrapped it. Inside was what looked like a miniature glass spinning top. There was another note from Ron beneath it.**

_**Harry— this is a Pocket Sneakoscope. If there's someone untrustworthy around, it's supposed to light up and spin. Bill says it's rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn't reliable, because it kept lighting up at dinner last night. But he didn't realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup.**_

_**Bye— Ron.**_

"AW! Remmy! I want one!" Sirius whined to his werewolf boyfriend.

"I doubt they've been invented yet, Padfoot," Moony pointed out.

"You still wouldn't get him one even if they were though, would you, Moony?" James asked the werewolf while smirking at Sirius.

"Nope."

Sirius stuck out his tongue at James first, then at Remus.

"Though, that does sound like something handy to have around," Lily idly commented.

"_See_? Even Lily thinks they can be useful!"

Remus just rolled his eyes. "We'll see, if we ever come across one."

Sirius smiled and pecked Remus on the lips; Remus smiled back.

**Harry put the Pocket Sneakoscope on his bedside table, where it stood quite still, balanced on its point, reflecting the luminous hands of its clock. He looked at it happily for a few seconds, then picked up the parcel Hedwig had brought.**

**Inside this, too, there was a wrapped present, a card, and a letter, this time from Hermione.**

_**Dear Harry,**_

_**Ron wrote to me and told me about his phone call to your Uncle Vernon. I do hope you're all right.**_

Lily chuckled warmly. "I'm so glad that Harry has such darling friends who care so much about him!"

"It's another Marauder trait— the ability to gain and keep the greatest friends ever to live on the surface of Earth!" James explained, smiling grandly at Remus and Sirius, who grinned back just as enthusiastically.

"Oh Prongs, you pansy!" Sirius teased affectionately.

"I'm touched, James," said Remus, smiling warmly. It's true; he really was blessed to have such great friends like James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily. And especially because of his condition, he was also incredibly blessed to have Sirius as his lover and long term boyfriend. He loved him so, and it made him unbelievably happy to know that Sirius felt the same.

_**I'm on holiday in France at the moment and I didn't know how I was going to send this to you—what if they'd opened it at customs?—**_

"What's customs, Moony Baby?" Sirius curiously glanced up at Remus.

"It's the area at a Muggle airport where airport security looks through your baggage to make sure you aren't sneaking any sort of weapons or contrabands onto the plane."

"Ohh."

_**but then Hedwig turned up! I think she wanted to make sure you got something for your birthday for a change.**_

"That is one smart bird, Hedwig," James observed.

"It's always nice to have an animal companion that cares as much about you as your friends do," Lily pointed out.

_**I bought your present by owl-order; there was an advertisement in the **_**Daily Prophet**_** (I've been getting it delivered; it's so good to keep up with what's going on in the wizarding world). Did you see that picture of Ron and his family a week ago? I bet he's learning loads. I'm really jealous—the ancient Egyptian wizards were fascinating. **_

"That they were, that they were," Remus agreed full heartedly.

_**There's some interesting local history of witchcraft here, too. I've rewritten my whole History of Magic essay to include some of the things I've found out. I hope it's not too long—it's two rolls of parchment more than Professor Binns asked for.**_

Sirius guffawed while James and Lily snickered. "She sounds just like you, Moonshine!"

Remus gave a haughty sniff. "Well, Harry has to have someone with a brain to keep an eye on him just as I had to keep an eye on you, Prongs, and Wormtail."

"I wouldn't be so surprised," Lily admitted. "Just as long as he has _someone_ to watch out for him. He's got the Marauder's luck, after all— he's going to need all the help and supervision he can get."

The three Marauders sniggered lightly before returning their attention to the hardback.

_**Ron says he's going to be in London in the last week of the holidays. Can you make it? Will your aunt and uncle let you come? **_("They better!" Sirius threatened.) _**I really hope you can. If not, I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express on September first!**_

_**Love from**_

_**-Hermione.**_

_**P.S. Ron says that Percy's Head Boy. I'll bet Percy's really pleased. Ron doesn't seem too happy about it.**_

Remus laughed. "I'm sure he probably isn't, no."

Sirius chuckled before leaning up to press a kiss on his lover's nose.

**Harry laughed as he put Hermione's letter aside and picked up her present. It was very heavy. Knowing Hermione, he was sure it would be a large book full of very difficult spells— **("And the evidence piles higher, Moon Cakes!" James and Remus snorted— James in laughter, Remus in denial.) **but it wasn't. His heart gave a huge bound as he ripped back the paper and saw a sleek black leather case, with silver words stamped across it, reading **_**Broomstick Servicing Kit**_**.**

James and Sirius shrieked with joy (shut up, it was totally manly shrieking!) while Remus and Lily looked at each other and smiled lightly and worriedly with the realization that Harry was turning out to be more and more like James with every turn of the page. This was not necessarily a good revelation unfortunately. Oh, all the trouble he will undoubtedly get, and probably has already gotten, into.

"**Wow, Hermione!" Harry whispered, unzipping the case to look inside.**

**There was a large jar of Fleetwood's High-Finish Handle Polish, a pair of gleaming silver Tail-Twig Clippers, a tiny brass compass to clip on your broomstick for long journeys, and a **_**Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare**_**. **

"Ahh, Harry's so lucky to have friends like Hermione," said Sirius, clearly day dreaming about the _Broomstick Servicing Kit_, though Remus was absolutely sure that he was replacing _Broomstick_ with _Motorcycle_.

**Apart from his friends, the thing that Harry missed most about Hogwarts was Quidditch, **(Here, Sirius and James squealed— manly squealing of course, as they would later insist) **the most popular sport in the magical world—**("You bet!") **highly dangerous, **("Hell yeah!") **very exciting, **("Grand understatement!") **and played on broomsticks. Harry happened to be a very good Quidditch player; **("Naturally!") **he had been the youngest person in a century to be picked for one of the Hogwarts House Teams. **("Oh wow, really?" "Oh, my son, you make me so damn proud!") **One of Harry's most prized possessions was his Nimbus Two Thousand racing broom.** (James was literally bawling with joy and pride by this point.)

**Harry put the leather case aside and picked up his last parcel. He recognized the untidy scrawl on the brown paper at once: this was from Hagrid, the Hogwarts Gamekeeper.**

"Good friends with Hagrid, is he?" Sirius asked himself. "Quite a good fellow to know, if you ask me."

"My favorite detentions were always the ones with him in the Forbidden Forest," said James. "Always a good time, they were."

**He tore off the top layer of paper and glimpsed something green and leathery, but before he could unwrap it properly, the parcel gave a strange quiver, and whatever was inside it snapped loudly—as though it had jaws.**

"Oh no, Hagrid! You didn't send my baby anything dangerous, did you?" Lily despaired.

"C'mon Lil, you know he did— it _is_ Hagrid, after all," Sirius explained.

"Not helping, Sirius!"

**Harry froze. He knew that Hagrid would never send him anything dangerous on purpose but then, Hagrid didn't have a normal person's view of what was dangerous. **(He most certainly does not, if memory serves me right!") **Hagrid had been known to befriend giant spiders, buy vicious, three-headed dogs from men in pubs, and sneak illegal dragon eggs into his cabin.**

"Oh, Merlin…" Lily looked like she was going to faint from the stress. James kept his arms in a firm grip around her, just to be on the safe side.

**Harry poked the parcel nervously. It snapped loudly again. Harry reached for the lamp on his bedside table, gripped it firmly in one hand, and raised it over his head, ready to strike. Then he seized the rest of the wrapping paper in his other hand and pulled.**

"Oh please be careful, Harry!" Lily whimpered.

**And out fell—a book. **

"What the hell? That's it? Boo!" Sirius jeered.

"Quiet, Sirius!" Lily shouted at him.

He quieted. No need to be on the receiving end of Lily's infamous temper.

**Harry just had time to register its handsome green cover, emblazoned with the golden title **_**The Monster Book of Monsters**_**, before it flipped onto its edge and scuttled sideways along the bed like some weird crab.**

"Holy fuck, that's creepy," Sirius shivered, which gave Remus a much looked for excuse to hug him closer to his body.

"**Uh-oh," Harry muttered.**

"Uh-oh, _indeed_!" Lily muttered viciously. "Honestly, what was that oaf thinking?"

James shrugged. "Sounds just like him, that's for sure. To be honest, I'm not all that surprised."

"Argh!"

**The book toppled off the bed with a loud clunk and shuffled rapidly across the room. Harry followed it stealthily. The book was hiding in the dark space under his desk. Praying that the Dursleys were still fast asleep, Harry got down on his hands and knees and reached toward it.**

"**Ouch!"**

**The book snapped shut on his hand and then flapped past him, still scuttling on its covers.**

Lily resembled a live steaming kettle at this point— her cheeks were stained a deep red, her eyes were blazing, and you could almost see steam coming out of her ears. James had to furiously rub circles into her shoulders to get her to relax.

**Harry scrambled around, threw himself forward, and managed to flatten it. Uncle Vernon gave a loud, sleepy grunt in the room next door.**

**Hedwig and Errol watched interestedly as Harry clamped the struggling book tightly in his arms, hurried to his chest of drawers, and pulled out a belt, which he buckled tightly around it.**

"Atta, boy!" James cheered.

"That's my son!" Lily joined in.

"Smart thinking there," Remus agreed, grinning.

"I'll give him credit, he certainly handled that better than Prongs would've— Prongs would've screamed like a little girl and hid in his closet," Sirius snickered.

Sirius had to dive off the couch to escape the large pillow that flew at him, which of course, hit Moony instead, so Remus had to throw it back, but it ended up hitting Lily square in the face. Lily, in retaliation, threw it back at Remus, who threw it back again, hitting James successfully this time, though it was aimed for Lily. So, for another five minutes, after Harry was safely set aside, a harsh pillow fight ensued.

When everyone had calmed down, Remus picked the book back up, panting slightly, and picked up where they left off, while Sirius resituated himself back on his werewolf's lap.

**The **_**Monster Book**_** shuddered angrily but could no longer flap and snap, so Harry threw it down on the bed and reached for Hagrid's card. **

_**Dear Harry,**_

_**Happy birthday!**_

_**Think you might find this useful for next year.**_

_**Won't say no more here. Tell you when I see you.**_

_**Hope the Muggles are treating you right.**_

_**All the best,**_

_**Hagrid.**_

**It struck Harry as ominous that Hagrid thought a biting book would come in useful** ("Indeed," Lily hissed quietly)**, but he put Hagrid's card up next to Ron's and Hermione's, grinning more broadly than ever. **(This caused the four young adults to grin broadly as well.) **Now there was only the letter from Hogwarts left.**

**Noticing that it was rather thicker than usual, Harry slit open the envelope, pulled out the first page of parchment within, and read:**

_**Dear Mr. Potter,**_

_**Please note that the new school year will begin on September the first. **_("Does it ever begin on any other day?" "Padfoot?" "Yes, Moonshine?" "Shut up.") _**The Hogwarts Express will leave from King's Cross station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o'clock.**_

_**Third years are permitted to visit the village of Hogsmeade on certain weekends. Please give the enclosed permission form to your parent or guardian to sign.**_

_**A list of books for next year is enclosed.**_

_**Yours sincerely,**_

_**Professor M. McGonagall.**_

_**Deputy Headmistress.**_

"Oh yes! Hogsmeade!" Sirius cheered. "He hasn't lived until he's visited the best spots in Hogsmeade!"

"Like Honeydukes and Zonkos!" James elaborated.

"Aaaand! Don't forget the lovely, luxurious, five star resort: The Shrieking Shack!"

Moony rolled his eyes.

**Harry pulled out the Hogsmeade permission form and looked at it, no longer grinning.**

"What? Why!" Sirius sounded highly distraught, as if he had been told that he would no longer be allowed to touch his beloved werewolf, and that is very tragic, indeed, mind you.

**It would be wonderful to visit Hogsmeade on weekends; he knew it was an entirely wizarding village, and he had never set foot there. But how on earth was he going to persuade Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia to sign the form.**

None of the adults were grinning anymore either.

"Oh yeah," Sirius recalled the Dursleys' horrible and unjust treatment of Harry just because of who he was. This of course, sent him into "pissed-off mode", and he needed Moony to rub his arms repeatedly and soothingly to calm him down, which took a full five minutes to do.

**He looked over at the alarm clock. It was now two o'clock in the morning. **

**Deciding that he'd worry about the Hogsmeade form when he woke up, Harry got back into bed and reached up to cross off another day on the chart he'd made for himself, counting down the days left until his return to Hogwarts.**

"Eerie," Sirius commented. "That's exactly what _I _used to do when I was at Grimmauld Place."

Remus responded by hugging Sirius closer to him.

**Then he took off his glasses and lay down, eyes open, facing his three birthday cards.**

**Extremely unusual though he was, at that moment Harry Potter felt just like everyone else—glad, for the first time in his life, that it was his birthday.**

"Oh, my baby," Lily fussed as she cradled a still sleeping Harry in her arms. "At least he's happy."

"Yeah," Remus agreed. "And that's the end of the first chapter. Does anyone want to read next?"

James raised his hand. "I will."

Remus tossed him the book. James caught it, turned the page, and began to read.

* * *

**A/N: So, how was it? If you guys want more, let me know.**


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